“Should” You Do Anything?
The words we use to plan our lives have a significant impact on how we feel about those plans and our abilities to follow through on them..
Think about something you believe you “should” do today and notice how that thought makes you feel.
Now think of something you want to do and notice the difference in the way you felt about that.
Whenever we use the word “should” in a sentence, whatever words follow “should” become a burden. The task becomes less pleasant and harder to accomplish.
We may procrastinate and try to avoid it altogether. In doing so, we end up wasting a lot of mental and physical energy and we make the task much harder.
If we “want” to do something, it’s much easier to get it done. The same exact task can be made easier by playing with words and helping our brains to move towards an action versus away from it.
For example, think about exercise during the holiday season. Which statement might help you to actually get your exercise done?
I should work out today.
I want to work out today.
Now answer WHY to each of the questions above, meaning:
Why should you work out?
Why would you want to work out?
In case you’re struggling with the answers here, let me help. Some examples might include:
“I should work out today because it’s good for me.”
“I want to work out today because I know that I’ll feel better if I do and I like that exercise burns calories and helps me to increase my metabolism, which makes it easier to maintain (and lose) weight.”
There’s guilt in the should statements. There’s desire in the want to statements.
I may not really want to work out but I want the results that will occur if I follow through with the action.
Are you playing mind games with yourself? Absolutely! Fake it til you make it baby.
We’re always going to feel better when we do something we know is good for us, but it’s much easier to do things when we can at least pretend that we want to do them rather than making them a chore or burden that we have to get done.
Action Steps:
Notice how often you use the word “should” and how you feel when you say it.
Can you reword your statement to use “want” or some other word that makes you feel more inclined to move towards whatever you were feeling you “should” do?
Be kind to yourself while working on shifting this habit. It’s pretty deeply embedded for a lot of people, but well worth the effort of shifting.
